Monday, October 12, 2015

Paranoia Haunted House, 2015

     Paranoia Haunted House is located in Canton, Georgia.  In the past we have enjoyed going to Paranoia.  In recent years it has only been one of us, and usually a friend.  We would arrive, talk to the lady who worked the ticket booth and get to talk to the owners for a bit about what was going on that year.  This year it was completely different.  On a Saturday night eight of us went to Paranoia in the rain.  I say that not as an excuse, but rather as a simple statement of fact.
     This year we experienced a late start, long wait, short staffed event, with limited scares and minimal details within the sets.  It pains us to say this since we have historically been a fan of this haunt.
     I can give you one simple story that proves they have far more room for growth this year than they have in the past.  When we entered the elevator a staff member was going through with us.  Since there was no introduction or statement by a working staff member while we entered I decided to make up my own.  I went into full character voice and my monologue matched the situation.  It was highly generic, but effective.  The staff member riding with us looked over at me and said, "Do you want a job?"  Really?  That's saying something that you need a stranger to help make you better so badly that you would offer up a job on the spot.  I bet you think that she was joking, but it was clear that she wasn't in that moment.
     When we finished the first haunt we had experienced one of two decent scenes and a handful of skilled actors, but nothing impressive.  We went back to the front of the building to join the line for the second haunt.  We stood in that line, not moving, for over half an hour!  We saw the door to the haunt open twice, but we never saw the line move.  Staff members told us that people were going through, but we highly doubt it if our eyes were telling us the truth.
     After such a long wait we finally had to give up and leave without even going through the second haunt that we had paid to attend.  This was a first for us!  We never walk away from a haunt, especially after we paid for it.
     This year we have to drop the rating for Paranoia to only one and a half severed heads.  We hope that when we do decide to return, probably in a few years, that they will have resumed their previous high standards.